An editorial to accompany a essay by George Collum for YAWN Magazine about the hypocrisy of Jack Daniel's brand.
A short Excerpt from the accompanying essay.
Down The Chute #2: Jack Daniel’s
George Collum gets in on the venting lyrical, banging Jack Daniel’s to rights over the plastification of Old No. 7
“First brewed in 1866 by the first brave American ever to roam these lands, and we’ve been doin’ the same old process since then. We start with rainwater collected in rusty tin cans by ol’ blind Railroad Joe, that then gets decanted into the groin of the oldest sycamore tree in the whole of Tennessee state and left to settle for three long weeks. Then we gotta soak the water up in ol’ Willie Nelson’s ol’ bandanas and drag ‘em up the orchard past the Barley fields where ol’ Billie Two-Fingers first learned to shoot, before later pursuin’ a very successful career in our Marketing department. The Barley is carried by the young Jesse T Ford in ol’ moth bitten’ woollen sacks up to the Malting Shack, where Tennessee’s oldest man, Young Bill Woodgut (Head of Commercial Enterprising), first seduced a young Missy Dolly Parton. Now’days, he spends his days most rakin’ the barley with a tree branch he grips with his feet. Yep, we sure do like to do things the old fashioned way here at Jack Daniel’s…”
(From Yawn Magazine 2013)